25 Things To Do When You’re Feeling Suicidal

I’ve had many instances in my life where I simply felt like nothing would ever make sense again. Those instances of overwhelming emotions are powerful, and one could easily be swept up and away with it. Here’s my checklist of things to do before you take the metaphorical plunge. – Ramon

 


 

  1. Put “Exit Music (For a Film)” on repeat.
  2. Clean and oil your favorite firearm.
  3. Sharpen all the knives in your house.
  4. Purchase razor blades from your local hardware store.
  5. Obtain copious amounts of painkillers by breaking your foot.
  6. Rob a bank while utilizing a gun.
  7. After robbing said bank, stand in the middle of the street and randomly point the gun at passersby.
  8. Locate the tallest building in your immediate vicinity.
  9. Locate the nearest bridge with a freefall of at least 110 feet.
  10. Wait until 1 am, then drive through the countryside with your headlights off. Bonus points if you drive through a mountain.
  11. Switch to “A Letter To Elise” on repeat.
  12. Practice driving down your local busy highway on the left side of the road.
  13. Inject 400 mg of heroin into your bloodstream all at once.
  14. Take triple the recommended antihistamine dosage and race to orgasm before you fall asleep while performing autoeroticism.
  15. Tape metal cylinders to your chest then walk into any police station.
  16. Drink a liter of your favorite alcohol before you black out. Bonus points if you black out lying on your back.
  17. Practice your hand-eye coordination by sticking a butter knife into an electrical socket.
  18. Go to your local grocery store and purchase a pound of beef. Drive to your local wilderness and go for a hike, storing said beef on your person.
  19. Fast for 48 hours (including water) and run a marathon!
  20. Wash your favorite hairdryer while it’s plugged in.
  21. Switch to “I Know It’s Over” on repeat.
  22. Cut a hole in your microwave big enough to fit your head in, then stick your head in, pressing 5 minutes before closing the door.
  23. Practice hang gliding by yourself with no prior instruction.
  24. Kill a bear with a knife. Bonus points for broadcasting the attempt.
  25. Go to your local zoo, jump into the lion exhibit and see if you can outrun them.
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