Holding Hands

Your sleeping torso lies quiet,

a moving, breathing thing

Left alone to its own vices, turning merrily round it goes

Around the clock, the numbers going faster

to a blur, a monotone wash forgotten dreariness;

Heaviness, set down; Abandoned



Curves underneath the blanket, heave

up and down, up and down

Temporary impressions held tightly,

held and highly regarded; a trophy/not-trophy

We cherishing ly mounted on the wall,

Poignant efforts for all to see; eager ambivalence against heartfelt desires



The addiction of you; The narcotic I so desire

Leaves me indebted to the incumbent happenstance

I’ve graciously decided for myself,

forcing my face to the sun

On winged prayers you fly, beating your

Torso, repeatedly; hypnotically



Lately it’s all I desire

Lately it’s all I need

Lately it’s everything I could ever hope and dream

Denying the twisting, scraping

motions left to scar my hands as the grasping never ends



I never want to be empty of you

I never want to be lost to you

I never want the loneliness of your empty place in the bed



I whisper to you, in the still of the night,

“Don’t haunt me tonight, ghost of you,

Don’t haunt me; don’t push with all of you,

Don’t fret with the tears falling as rain,

Be still, listen to the wind”



On it is carried the echoes of our laughter,

The etched memories of frozen places in time,

We could look upon them together, my love;

We could let the light shine in



Together, you and I,

Could make the years of history left to tell

Passed on graciously to cherub faces, drawing their bows with arrow ed hearts

Together, you and I,

Could make this future one worthwhile,

Lived out first,

in our dreams as they always have the tendencies to do



“Be still, listen to your heart,

As I am carried throughout you, pulsing ever farther, ever faster

With each rise

With each breath

With each moment shared,

Venturing together from the dark”




©Ramon Sturdivant


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