One Knock for Salt, Two Knocks for Pepper

We just called them Red Ropes. Those dudes were dicks. Funny, but dicks.


They’re Not All Gonna Be Winners

You keep begging but I'm pretty sure whatever God you're on your knees for is changing its hearing aid. Use the dying breath you twist your screws into. Perhaps you're doing it wrong? Like, your kneeling posture is wrong, or perhaps you're not saying it correctly. You may want to go ahead and double check the manual, just to be on … Continue reading They’re Not All Gonna Be Winners

Concupiscence of My Toddler Bike

Never have been good at rhyming, so I went ahead and wrote a death metal song about my strong sexual desires for a girl's toddler bike. Apologies for the bad rhyme in advance, was focusing more on the syllable count. -Ramon   The handle bar molestation Leads to partial insemination,   Ridden harder, hands gripping … Continue reading Concupiscence of My Toddler Bike